sum1 gave me this song not too long ago..

thot of sharin it :)

its been a while...

hey y'all.
its been a while since i last updated my blog..
sorry..
but its been kinda hectic...
in both ways, academically and in relationships..
well,
my days up till now have been filled with assignments, projects, discussions, n so on...
its damn tiring.
huh..
not getting enough sleep(at nite), at too much sleep(in the evening).
so basically my internal clock is fried...
yeah.
xtaw bile nk tido, bile nk mkn, bile nk mandi...
sume nye dah x betul.
grrrr.
nvm...

so the most recent thing happened was the statics project.
we had to build a paper tower that can withstand a load..
the winner would have to build a paper tower that can withstand a great amount of load and be quite tall.
so here's my project.


its 31cm tall, and withstood a load of more than 400N.
harap2 menang lah.
hehehehe.

so things to come adalah,
1. sains bahan assgnment
2. mikro p assgnment.

btw, final lg 2 minggu..
sengal en dekat nk final pon ade assgnment lg?
study pon belum lg...
grrrrr....
anyways.
wish me luck.

a horrible guy wishing for death.

so the story goes,
i once said to myself, that
I WUD NEVER EVER DISTURB SUM1 ELSES GIRLFRIEND.
i thot i actually kept my word.
after the __ incident.
but,
seems that im just a liar...
hmmm :(
im so disappointed in myself...
i really thot that i changed for the better.
tp turns out that its just got worse....
why, oh why, am i like this...
sum1 plz kill me.
*begging*
this is because,
i hurt sum1, terribly.
feel awful about it.
but,
whats done is done rite?
u hope for the best...
coz,
things that start out terrible,
will end up terrible...
better hurt her now than hurt her in the future rite?
i hope im rite..
i really do...
to those reading this,
i know u think im a horrible person.....
i do too..
so we agree on something....
im a horrible, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE guy
what shud i do?
ive already hurt her..
n i want to put it behind me.
can i?

things i like. =)

since i have nothing better to do..
imma share with u things i like..

1. the night. x tahan panas.
wait. better yet, senja. cantik! :P
2. rain. hujan nikmat. suke hujan.. =)
3. friends. kwn yg betul kwn. haha. susah nk cari.
4. driving around at nite. bebas. xde jam. x panas. polis pon kurang. :P
5. mkn yg sedap. sape yg x suke, ntah la... bukan manusia agaknye. ;)
6. gf to hold my hand while walking together.
7. a simple text sayinh hello, gud morning, gudnyte, etc.
8. getting a text at the end of the day asking me how my day went.
To put it simply, i like having someone care.:P
9. hmm.. xde dah ke?
itu je yg dpt di fikirkan. akan di-update dr mase ke mase akan datang.

tension...

how wud u feel when u bust ur ass off doing work to get good marks
n ur teammates do half assed work just to get it done?
imagine waiting for them to complete their work
and just end up getting not even a half page worth of work?
thats what happened to me this morning..
i woke up today being, alittle bit motivated to go to class.
otw, about 5 mins to the class,
i get a call
"weh ko kat mane?"
"aku otw g kelas ni la. knape?"
"kelas cancel dowh... aku br dpt taw ni"
"sial kau, br skang nk gtaw? xley harap pnye ketua"
mcm tu la conversation pd pukul 8.15 td..
ok..
so itu xpe la...
still ade semangat skit...
then i got myself to the printing shop nk print kje group yg suh wat semlm tu..
ok..
*cucuk pendrive
*scanning virus
*open document
??
WTF?!
"ape nie??? asal pndek sgt?"
"itu yg aku ckp tu, dorg wat pndek sgt"
bye2 mood, nice knowing you..
so,
now,
im in front of the laptop blogging.
telling you how i feel today.
sume kerajinan yg ade pagi td,
hilang..
hmm....
br taw, juz because kite buat kje 100%,
doesnt mean that other ppl wud give the same amount..
walaupon markah tu group, tp kalo 2 org je buat kje x gune jugak..
hmmmmm.....

....

mlm yg sedih...
tonite, im feelin ten kinds of sadness.
u think thats not possible?
the fuck i care.
im feeling it.
the reason,
i dont know..
i have my moments.....
sumtimes,
suicide is the solution...
MAYBE.
hm..
suicide..
sounds like fun.
kalo dah mati,
x la rase camni....
kan2?
x rase pape.
rase azab kubur je.
god knows my sins n how much ive done..
sure azab neraka terbaek...
yeah..
suprised u huh?
ingatkan aku xtaw azab kubur?
aku ingat la dinua sementara..
tp x salah en if i wana b hapy time dunia ni pon...
too bad what i want is not what i get.
yeah..
im not happy.
for reasons i dont know...
rasenye, cukop la ape yg aku ada..
so y m i not happy?
hmm...
a question only god knows the answer.
i hope one day i'll get my blessing from god almighty..
eh,
jap.
bukan blessing.
erm..
petunjuk...
whatever la..
in my heart i know what im saying...
as u wudve guessed.
i cant sleep..
thats y im writing this stupid blog...
feeling restless, uneasy, not happy, and so on n so forth..
evrything negative is what im feeling tonite..
and the feeling will come again n again.
at times i dont want it.
so,
whenever i x reply ke, xnk bercakap ke..
thats the sign that im feeling like this.
i bukannye ape,
xnk la marah org x tentu sebab.
hmmm..

saddest song i know~

1st lady - missing you

oh oh Oh I'm missin' you
Baby I'm missin' you

oh oh oh oh
Baby I'm missing you
Things'll never be the same without you...

What did I do to deserve this
I didn't even get one last kiss, from you
Oh baby God took your love from me
He needed an angel so it seems
I need to feel your hands all over me
I need to feel you kissing me
I need to feel you holding me
I need to feel your touch
Cause I miss your love so much
And I can't keep on living this way
I need you here with me
Why could he take you away, from me

It's hard for me to tell you I love you
As I'm standing over your grave
And I know I'll never hear your voice again
Why did you leave me
Why couldn't you just stay
Because my world is nothin', without you
Now I don't know what to do, with myself

I would've given you anything
Just to make you happy
Just to hear you say, that you love me one last time
I'd go to hell and back over and over again
Just to prove to you how much I need you here
There is nothing that I wouldn't do
I'd cry for you
I'd lie for you
And there's no doubt that if I could take your place in heaven
I would die for you, yes I will
I would rather give up my life
Than to see tears in your eyes
I can't stand to see you cry

Cause it's hard for me to tell you I love you
As I'm standing over your grave
And I know I'll never hear your voice again
Why did you leave me
Why couldn't you just stay babe
Because my world is nothin', without you
Now I don't know what to do, with myself

I just don't know what to do with myself
I cant stand looking at those pictures on my shelf
Knowing it was just one week ago, i stood there and took that picture
There's just one thing that I wanna know
Why would God want to hurt me so bad,
Does He know how much it hurts to be missing you
Baby Im missing you
Baby Im missing you
I love you

oh God damn it I love you
Why did he take you away... from me
Cause I love you so...
I miss you so much baby I just can't go on baby

penat ler...

mlm yg sgt memenatkan...
mlm ni,
aku tibe2 tergerak ati nk wat report...
mnyesal btol..
gile la pnjg..
informal je padahal..
tp i wonder,
knape la evrytime buat report,
my informal report mesti lg pnjg dr formal report..
hahahahaha.
nk taw pnjg mane?
imagine doing a report for 3 hours.
bebal otak..
i started at around 10, n finished at 130.
lol.
tu la..
pdn muke ko ashyie. sape suro wat mlm2..
ko dah taw mlm2 ponger lg ko mau buat...
aiyer...
tp xpe la...
at least siap..

on another note..
im worried about a friend of mine...
hmm.
shud i talk about it?
maybe...
the story goes, die ni... emmm..
ntah ler..
x taw la apsal die cam, x betul..
bukan ler i mean x betul mcm gile.
i mean,
mcm xley duk diam.
sumthings bothering him.
i think that probably prob ngn relationship..
standard la tu en?
tp,
he's not the type to talk about it..
kalo nk tnye, takot di-label menyibuk pulak...
so,
ntah ler..
maybe when he's ready die cite kot...
x suke la kwn asyik masalah je..
x best.
:)
hmmm..
itu je la kot...
so here's me signing off.
nyte2!
:)

lega~

tonight at 245 am, this will be my last post for today before going to bed(hopefully)

so just now, i had a long talk with .....
xley la bg korg name..
mmpos ler aku..
:P
so,
the thing that ive been holding on for so long,
had finally been expressed in words.
im glad that i did that.(with a LITTLE push.)
so finally,
i feel better. yeay! :P

im glad that it went well n not the horrible way i imagined it would go.
thank god the that person is open and emm... understanding.
yeah.
itu je la..
sbenanya nk ckp that im relieved je..
hahaha.
and
i know... i know..
u dont have to tell me..
i know ur thinking,
" ler budak ni. kecoh r. psl bnde ni pon nk post ke?"
and my answer to u is,
lantak aku la.
blog aku...
ko kesah wt pe.
xde pon aku pakse bace,,
saje mengarang.
x gnggu hidup sape2 pon.
hahaha.
huh lega~
:P :P :P

so that is..
last bit of karut-mengarut from me at 3am.
:)

selesai sudah sains bahan

so...
the test is over.....
how did i do u ask?
to put is simply,
F'in horrible.
kpd family kot2 yg bace, sorry...
amin dah try study,
tp, mmg x dpt nk hafal sumenye....
susah giler~
huhuhuhu...

so my feelings after the F'in test is,
BBBAAAABBBIIIIII!!!!!
susah kot nk hafal 3 chapter..
yg i thot dah hafal pon hilang...
adey..
sdey btul...
hurm...
so i guess no more LA9917 nex sem..
redha je la..
have to go back using the bus.
hahahaha

hmmm...
u guys must wonder how i can still laugh after all this..
the reason is simple..
its just who i am.
:)

i forgot~

terlupe pulak pagi ni kuiz statik....
hahahahaha.
how cud i have ever forgotten?
hampeh betul...
naseb bek the lecturer was kind enough to have a study session before the kuiz...
tp here's the awesome part...
mase die ngajar.
i thought"ooohhh.. senang je nie...."
hahaha.
mmg konfiden gile r....
skali dpt soklan...
hmmm....
mcm ni ke?
eh mcm salah je?
mane force yg ni?
20 minutes passed~
ok times up!
me:"WTF???!! ape je yg aku buat?"
mmg bebal la en?
tym ajar phm la sgt...
when it comes to doing it,
mmg fail..
aiyer....
knape la bebal sgt...
naseb bek dr roszaidi mmg baek...
dye tnye,
"nak amik kire x kuiz ni?"
OMG.. syg gil lecturer tu..
mmg nk tlg pelajar...
sorry la ye doc kalo kitorang mcm x ptot digelar pelajar.
:P
so,
dodged a bullet this morning...
im wondering how this afternoon will go...
sains bahan...
still x phm ape..
n its a test!
either 10% or 20%.
imagine..
sorry pa~
x dpt nk kekalkan above 3.00
n bubye LA9917
:(

test sains bahan is tomorrow! WTF?!

so tomorrow ade test sains bahan. or name cool skit material science..
seriously i tell you..
lngsung x phm.
hahahaha
y the hell do i need to learn this subject i dont F'in know..
sedang aku amik mechanical enginerring, khusus dlm design..
sejak bile pulak la design kne taw psl molecule structure en?
i think that plg kuat pon,
to design sumtin,
u need to know the materials, n how they react under pressure heat and so on,
xde kne mngene ngn atomic structure dan sebagai nya..
kan?
m i rite or m i rite?
:P
so,
mlm ni,
kne study 3 chapters, kalo ikut buku rujukan,
about 80++ pages.
gile~~~
mau pecah kepale otak..
add the fact that i can memorise to save my life..
so,
konklusinye, esok,
gudbye sains bahan,
i hope u don tkill my cgpa.
;)

insomnia

huu~
xley tido nye psl..
arini aku belum tidur lg..
ting tong ni...
tmbhn lagi pagi td lab.
mmg blur je....
dah la panas pulak...
melaka ni mmg pns...
xtaw la knape..
global warming kot?
hehehe.
who knows...
wel,,
xde bnde nk ckp sbenanya..
cume sgt2 ting tong sbb x tidur.
nk tidur ptotnye,
tp ade pulak tech comm kul 230.
dah byk ponteng,
so this time kene g no matter what..
tido dlm kelas pon boleh what??
:P

ciri2 wanita idaman

ok..
kalo nk ngarut,
the woman of my dreams must know the way without me giving her directions.
:P
phm2 sendri la ye?
tp rasenye, im not the bf type.
y u ask?
becoz,

• maybe kuat jealous
• maybe not protective enough(slalu terbakar diri)
• needs constant attention
• x suke di-ignore-kan
• dan selebihnya x dpt nk tulis buat mase skarang.(kul 3 pagi. mane x blank nyer)
  

hm..
itu je ke nk cite?
memandangkan tgh cite psl ppuan en,
nape ppuan susah nk phm laki eh?
walaupon laki dah bg almost everything,
kne still x puas ati lg?
what do u want really?
n, plg x suke, kate bnde dah settle, nape even kalau, KALAU, 4 years past pon, korg still ngungkit lg?
hahahahaha.
jgn terase jgn marah,
luahan isi hati jejaka kesunyian.
i just wana know.
sbb diri sendri x dpt nk phm.
kalo buat assumption nnt salah la pulak..
so u guys tell me k?
cant wait to hear it.
:)

1st post

ok..
1st off.
welcome.
:)
xde reason pon nk create blog ni sbenanya...
saje nk bercerite..
sum1 once told me yg blog ni therapeutic.
so here im tryin.
maybe i cud untangle some webs in my mind..
hmm..
i think i have a problem.
problem tu,
i xtaw ape.
so,
u cud imagine btape tensionnye saye..
im not a very blogger i think, slalu dpt writers block. :P
but, im still typing.
ngarut je en?
:)
look forward to luahan hati saye ye?
nk komen komen la..
x kesah pon..
aku bukan jenis terasa.
kutuk lg aku suke.
:)