mother's day....

here's kind of a sad post...
if any of u havent known, my mom passed away 3 years ago...
July 25th 2007...

ive got an advice, to all u ppl who still have their mothers with them..
dont take it for granted...

i used to spend my time at home with my mom.
evrything my mom did,
i followed her around..
cooking, sewing, i was by her side everyday all the time..
ntah la.. it gave me so much joy...
but now, since she's gone,
my life became empty...
evrything i do, i feel worthless, useless, no point n so on...
imagine, mmg dr dulu lg,
evrytime im at home, i ade my mom teman... dye teman i, i teman dye..
tp, when im alone,
so whats the point?
i xtaw nk buat ape, why i shud do it..
ntah la...
blur...

tp im glad.
really glad that i was with my mom everytime i cud..
in the kitchen cooking,
in the living room making accessories out of beads...
tgk dye sew my buttons...
alahai..
so many memories...
i learned to cook from her...
thats sumthing im proud of...
i can help make food for my family...
sbb my family x reti masak.
heh.

so, to all u ppl out there,
make the most for ur mother....
even the little things,
just be with her is enough...
xde la perlu hadiah grand2,
teman dye pon dah cukop...
thats all...
a long, n late mother's day post.
='(

holidays at home...

as always, holidays aren't the best time in my life...
i know....
u ppl sume, WTF???
x suke cuti...
blah blah blah...
i know2...
xya la bising....
tp dah mmg aku cmtu.. nk wat cane....
x suke holiday....
wana know why?
ntah la.....
feeling like alone,
no one there...
coz basically,
i sorg je kat umah..
dad kje,
sisters; sorg kje, sorg study.
so,
basically i sorg...
kwn2 belum cuti....
city bosan...
nothing there...
so tell me now,
ape yg best sgt psl cuti?
hmm?

oh fuckk

oh man oh man...
its been a boring week.
now tgh cuti sem..
gile bosan,..
kwn2 sume x cuti lg...
keta xde,
evrything xde la
im stuck at home doing house chores....

stupid life.

bpk la bosannye....
wished i had a better life..
or a way to spend my time.
sick of doing the same thing evryday...
i need VARIETY.
PLZ!!!

freedom?

so the holiday's r finally here.
must think im so damn happy.
well,
to me,
50 50.
sure im happy to be home,
but, nothing is here for me.

i was hopin that this time,
this holiday would be different if i had sum1 special with me,
but i was wrong...
didnt even make it through the exam week.
must be just because we have different kind of lives.
but thats another story.

emmm...
thats all i wana say this time kot.
biasa lah,
org tu mngarut.
:)

im single again

go figure
huh

im useless?

seems like recently,
never is going for me.
i mean,
nothing is ok,
nothing is oryte,
nothing is fine.
i wonder why.
ntah la...

i always hurt the one i luv,
eventhough i dont want to..
probably coz im just so used to single life..
handphone letak merata coz xde sape nk text or call.
play games with frens to pass the time,
ntah la..
things i used to do n like to do.
things now have become,
well complicated.

its not that im complaining,
ntah la.
im not sure.
im not myself.
im not sure why.
is it because of the finals?
coz im far away?
coz im not the typical type of guy?
ntah la.
who knows.
a lot on my mind.
but,
i wont ever say anythin.
i'll just write about it.
write and write and write.
the word will never come out of mind.
in medical terms,
environmental effect.
dah biase dr dulu smpai skang,
so bile dah besa pon, still sama.
i know most of u x phm pon..
but like the blog header says.
ngarutan mr ashyie.
thats me..
so xya la garu2 kepala, senget2 kepala2,
naek2 kening.
toksah.
hehe.

im a crazy S.O.B.
tgh sdey, ley snyum.
tgh mrh, ley gelak.
emosi x stabil.
ntah.
GILA.
perkataan plg sesuai...
br aku prasan.
disebabkan dah lame x blog,
so satu post gile pnjg..
pnjg,
tp xde objektif,
xde rumusan,
xde conclusion.
haha.
hmm...
itu je la...
harap2 xde komen ye.

a great 3rd of april =)

hehehehe.
the title says it all.
the best day of my life so far...
2 great things happened to me today.
1st n most important, i got to meet my gf, melissa edora, for the first time.
<3 <3 <3 2nd, MU kalah di tgn Chelsea. Woo Hoo!
hehehehe.

so the 1st thing...
my gf,
smlm(2nd april) dye ade dtg, dgn her fam kat melaka ni...
tp,
being the bastard that i am,
x g jmpe
dlm ati takut, segan, sipu2 malu, n mcm2 lg rase..
dye marah kejap,
tp kejap je la.
:)
n today(3rd april), she somehow, dtg sini to see me.
terharu kan? :P
yeah..
i luv u so much.
thnx syg...

ok, now 2nd thing.
MU KALAH!!!!
wahahahahaha.
bahagia nye aku.....
x sia2 aku bgn dr tido utk tgk match tu..
hahahaha.
sure bengang budak MU.
pada pendapat aku, aku tgk chelsea maen pon x la hebat sgt..
cam teruk jugak.
tp,
dpt jugak kalahkan MU 2-1.
hahha.
so,
bangge.
to all MU fans,
i fuck Manchester Bersatu.
hahahahha.
hahahahaha.