time to update.

ok. aku taw mesti xde org baca blog ni. so bolehlah aku nk luahkan isi hati kat sini. im totally pissed now.
first lets start with saying i have trust issues.
i wud never tell anyone about my life.
NEVER.
bukan x mahu, ntah. rasa cam x ptut.
the only ppl that know about me, are my bestfriends.
org2 biasa, kawan2 biasa, akan nmpk yg im a happy go lucky guy, xde masalah, cool.
cool bukan lah mcm budak2 kl yg ko rasa hebat lepak kat klcc lah, g main snooker lah wtf sume tu.
my life, consists of making people happy. i have no reason to do this, but i do it anyway.
tukang pujuk org bile org down, itu kerja utama. tapi sadly, bile buat cmtu, mesti dorg lupa.
n they go on with their lives.
so whats left for me?
who can i tell my story to?
i have an "adik angkat"
tried telling a secret once, but somehow, she told her friends. n so, no more secrets to her.
i ada "kakak angkat" sorg. but, too bz in her own life for me.
gf? hmph. gf.. xtaw lah. mcm ada, tapi xde. xtaw nk kata gf or not.
probably not. asyik nk gaduh je.
ntah. then there's mel.
itu, hmmm.. lagi complicated.
so, what the hell m i?
pemujuk? pengacau? or nobody?
i want something, tapi ntah knapa, always get lost in translation.
i xtaw lah either its a joke, or its serious.
but i cant get what i want.
so whats left to do?
buat bodoh n hope god decide my fate?
im not that kind of person.
to all the spiritual people, jgn lah nk gunakan ayat2 hadis, or quran or whatever.
buat sakit hati nk dgr korg ckp tu.
sedangkan hidup korg sendiri pun belum tentu, jgn nk kata org.
redha tanpa usaha x guna.
kalo ko nk duet, ko mintak tuhan murahkan rezeki,
tapi kalo ko x cari keje, ko ingat duet nk jatuh dari langit?
aku bukan nk memburukkan tuhan or whatever, tapi inisiatif la sikit.
jgn makan suap je. pikir untuk diri sendiri.
ntah. aku dah melalut ni.
bottom line, aku bengang.
bengnang ngn segalanya.
dah la melaka panas. what the hell.